arleane

I think i'm developing feelings for someone.. Well lets see what happens

sleepless nights

The many sleepless night have taken its toll on me. Every night with weird dreams that i never had or could remember. Waking up with cold sweat. Restless. Is something wrong with me?

dream

Now this is some super weird ass dream.

Its quite vague but its weird.

My sis, my mum , huijuan,xue er ,sheena and i were in bangkok. We were traveling together. that was what was weird about it.we were shopping, clubbing (yeah my mum went clubbing with us), eating good food , basically we're just having loads of fun together. It was our last day and we didn't know what to do and my sis said she's going to call my friend pel. who is thai. How'd she know i have a friend called pel and how did she get her number? Pel was sobbing on the other line and she suddenly said we should go to central square. Does Thailand have a central square? I tot it was in malaysia? Oh... this is some weird ass dream.

hmmm

I can't say i'm not bitter about it. But i truely wanted this to last.

i know that you are worth something to me. I know that i have given in too much and cared for you too much till u felt all crammed up but there were times where u craved all these and i just wanted to give it to you. You loved it at first but perhaps as the time goes, it becomes boring and not fun anymore. I've given you too much of myself and i truely regret it now. I never regretted being with you even though. Being with you has allowed me to appreciate life more. Appreciate the world more.

Before i met you i didn't cared much about music. Before i met you i didn't really care about anything. All i care for was myself, my friends and my loved ones. But with you, i really really found myself. You've made such an impact on my life and i'm glad. I'm sorry i was nasty to you. I want to be nice but some part of me just wanted to be nasty n i gave in to it.

Right now i know that nothings going to happen. But i just hope and pray.

Hmm

Have you ever felt like this. After a relationship, you adjust and kinda feel comfortable with your life and all. Suddenly you get news that she/he injured him/herself and ur heart starts beating really fast and you get extremely worried?

I had this feeling today. Its like this sudden rush of adrenaline and your heart starts beating fast. Your hands start to sweat ,ur gut starts to get butterflies and you break out in cold sweat. Damn... I was genuinely concern and i was worried sick. I wanted to see her to make sure that she was fine. I can't concentrate. i can't even read a book without getting all jittery. i can't help but feel helpless and powerless.... Its these moments of helplessness that you realize how much you love someone. And now i know that i really really love her.

I remembered in a past relationship(mind you they are different ppl) where she fell down and hurt her chin, it required stitches, but i couldn't care less about it. I was like faster go to hospital go and sew it up lah. But this was like totally different. cold sweat! exactly like those u have when u had a nightmare.

Even hearing her tell me that she was fine didn't really make me feel any better. I'm still worried

I miss you lots girl! Hugs!